only time will tell

I didn't need to hear how of a beautiful thing it was me coming into your life. I didn't want to feel that you were meant to stay. Yet I did...

But that is not one of your faults. In fact, the only thing I can blame you for is making your way in just to take a look and leave. I won't convince myself that that was your true intention, because the few things I've got to see of you this month, make me think better. But I cannot help getting this familiar feeling when someone you thought would stay, ends up leaving. It is a bit different now though. I cling less and less every time. You broke my fall but I ended up landing anyway. Landing into the emptiness and loneliness that I was meant to face sooner or later. Just in time, although I don't think there is actually a time for these things. The sooner, the better. Since day 1, I put my cards on the table, and you decided to go regardless. And I did decide to flow with you along the stream of light, and I felt like I never did before. You somehow almost made me forget about the importance of taking my time. And it was your constant reminders for taking things slowly that ended up bringing me to a harsh stop. And here I am. Still a little bit bewildered, in suspension. Can't say I didn't see this coming, I was just not prepared for it yet. Right now I do not think I can do any better than letting you go. Not because I don't long to be around you. But only because life has taught me that sometimes, silence, time and space are the best gift that one can offer. And maybe I am getting it all wrong, but maybe I got it right when I thought your soul longed for those things. So if I keep my distance is only to honor the respect and the love that my soul has for yours.

Somehow I wish I could make these words get to you, but for now I will just keep them within me.