I don't play games.

No. I will never mess with your mind, and if I do, I will make sure you know that I am playing so we can make fun of each other. I won't try to manipulate you in my favor. That is just myself, but please don't play games with me. Don't sneak in with strategies, because I might not notice, and it will hurt... Or I might, and I can assure you that it will hurt anyway. Don't be so selfish that you would mess with me, before even making up your mind. If you care for me, let me know. I am an open book, I don't conceal things. Even when I don't know anymore how good of a thing this is, it is who I am. And I'd rather walk with an open heart than to be afraid of being myself. I understand that this makes me vulnerable, and sometimes I keep asking myself if I should be different. If I should think differently, feel less ... And the answer is I just don't know how to. I am aware that I still have a ton of learning to do when it comes to the ways of the world. But I have no doubt that I will come through it all. And so will you.

.

My soul craves a bunch of things that happened around you. I've been looking for your eyes, in others' eyes. Looking to dance like we did. Is not the same, it never is. Just those late night conversations, and the way you made me feel like I was one of the nicest creatures you've ever been around. And how I felt at peace every time we said goodbye. Your hand playing with mine as we talked about life, lying in my couch under my dim lights. I still miss that touch, you have the softest hands I've ever held. No one has made my soul cringe, dance, thrill, sing, silence... like you did.

Now I see you are away, and I look at all of these feelings that I wish had left with you. Everything that belonged to you and you left behind. But they were never yours to carry, I understand, so I do not blame it on you for leaving like that. I should not have fallen for you, but I did. And that is mine to carry. I am still learning to let go; is not always easy, it has not been easy. Yet I am grateful for the very moment our looks crossed dancing at that bar. I am grateful for the way you shook me, and reminded me that there are people that can make me feel this way. You left my soul starving, yes. But even for that I am thankful. Because now I get to feed my soul, to get stronger on my own.